Bitterness

Monday

Bitterness

Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
      and I was all torn up inside.
 I was so foolish and ignorant—
      I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.

Psalms 73:21-22

It starts with bitterness.  The bitterness could come from childhood verbal abuse where you repeatedly heard negative, hurtful comments.  These comments stuck with you until you believed them and let them grind into your psyche until they became a part of you. 

The bitterness could come from a failure where you start the negative self talk on a very small level.   It could come from a bully at school that pulled the negativity out of nowhere.  It could come from a boss or a spouse, sibling, coach or teacher. 

However it starts, it has taken root in your soul and now it has become you.  The negative talk never stops; it’s in your head constantly; a tidal wave of thoughts and emotions that constantly work to keep you down.

Now what?  You are defined by these steady words, thoughts and actions that just won’t go away, in spite of you wanting them to.  You know it’s wrong, but you can’t stop.  This habit is ingrained in you. 

Help.

Lord, please give me the wisdom to recognize negative self talk.  I want to identify it so I can combat it with your help.  Amen.